Kick in the Pants Therapy (Sample Article #1)

DWARF INVENTORY OF PSYCHOPATHOLOGY

The continual reclassification of diagnostic schemes means confusion for everyone. The revision of criteria can cause more frothing at the mouth than a rabies outbreak. The following classification system takes a more holistic approach by amalgamating types of behaviour into clusters, so called Dwarf Prototypes. Familiarization is available to all by way of a short story and training film.

DWARF PROTOTYPE CONVENTIONAL DIAGNOSIS

Sleepy

Narcolepsy,
Sleep Apnea

Dopey

Organic Brain Syndrome,
Alcohol and Substance Abuse - Valium Barbiturate Intoxication

Bashful

Avoidant Personality Disorder,
Agoraphobia Depression, Dysthymia

Grumpy

Schizoid Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder

Sneezy

Somatoform Disorder,
Conversion Disorder Substance Abuse - Cocaine

Doc

Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Obsessive-Compulsive, Hypochondriasis

Happy

Mania, Delirium,
Substance Abuse - Narcotics

 

PROPOSED DWARF PROTOTYPES *
Rude Dude Antisocial Personality Disorder
Malingering, Factitious Disorder
Twinkie Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Damien Schizophrenia, Delusional Disorder
Multiple Personality Disorder
Frisky Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Substance Abuse - Stimulants

*The Committee of Arbitrary Decisions dictated the number of prototypes in the next version of the D.I.P. must add up to the next odd number not divisible by three.